Part 18 of my spiritual journey series. As a big fan of the musician Jewel, I was excited to purchase and read her memoir, Never Broken in December of 2015. I loved reading her life story, and her theme of rebirth was really pinging something deep in me. In her book, she references the work … Continue reading 18: Wrestling with Identity According to Christian Theology
Do I Control My Life?
I don't believe we have full control of our destiny. We aren't in complete control of our lives. There is some greater power at work that keeps pulling strings along the way. But I also don't believe we have no control. I don't believe everything we do is orchestrated by unseen forces and that we … Continue reading Do I Control My Life?
There’s Always Been a Rainbow…
This morning I fell into a deep pit that I didn’t know how to get out of. Old stories were repeating, and making music out of it (no matter how awesome it sounded) was making me feel worse. I just felt really, really depressed.
At one point Kasey Musgraves’ song “Rainbow” wandered into my mind, and I pondered the message. What was there to be depressed about, really? The thing I was struggling with didn’t deserve to rule my day or determine my worth or happiness.
I was thinking through what to do. It seemed like a good time to just work on a new macrame piece. I wanted to try a rainbow design that Mary Maker Studio posted a tutorial of on Instagram. My new yarn had arrived and so I now had a wide color palette to choose from. After working through several project ideas in my…
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17: Foreshadow of Rebirth on the Winter Solstice
Part 17 of my spiritual journey series. It was December 2015 and I was pregnant with my third child. Despite having two previous successful homebirths under my belt, I was having a lot of uncharacteristic fears about the birth of my next child. We were planning another homebirth, but suddenly I was terrified of something going terribly … Continue reading 17: Foreshadow of Rebirth on the Winter Solstice
anatomy of a panic attack
Yesterday I experienced my first real anxiety/panic attack in about 4 months. It blew in like a crazy storm and then faded out just as quickly, and then the anxiety mildly rained on and off the rest of the day like a summer afternoon. I felt a need to write out exactly what was going … Continue reading anatomy of a panic attack
16: Meeting Myself with Phosphorus
Part 16 of my spiritual journey series. In October of 2015, I decided to take the homeopathic remedy Phosphorus 1M. I had no idea what I was doing. I knew this remedy had something to do with openness/boundaries, and I was trying to be more open to myself and spiritual direction. I'd only taken the remedy … Continue reading 16: Meeting Myself with Phosphorus
if all the spinning plates fall…
Hi. I'm Grace. I have too many plans and grand ideas and I'm not sure how to do it all. Two years ago I was having a serious breakdown. I wasn't doing anything. I wasn't ambitious and had zero plans. I was just trying to survive my existential crisis, just trying to find a point … Continue reading if all the spinning plates fall…
Yet another brush with Mercury
Whenever I'm in some emotional funk, my method of processing (or coping with...) the Crazy is to write a long string of absurdities on my blog or to my doctor. I decided to leave my poor doctor out of this round, so I'll emotionally vomit all over you lovely people who are so unfortunate to … Continue reading Yet another brush with Mercury
Heartbreaking Beauty
I’ve been dealing with some heavy stuff lately, confronting Death and Life and my place in the middle of it all. I was feeling anxious last night and this poem came out of me.
I do not need resolution for mental conflict
There is conflict, I feel it raging within. It is an empathy for others, and for myself. It is all out war and it can be exhausting. And then, a grand revelation: I don't have to pick sides. Chaos will tell me that if I just pick an opinion, pick a side, make up my … Continue reading I do not need resolution for mental conflict
