17: Foreshadow of Rebirth on the Winter Solstice 

Part 17 of my spiritual journey series. It was December 2015 and I was pregnant with my third child. Despite having two previous successful homebirths under my belt, I was having a lot of uncharacteristic fears about the birth of my next child. We were planning another homebirth, but suddenly I was terrified of something going terribly … Continue reading 17: Foreshadow of Rebirth on the Winter Solstice 

Heartbreaking Beauty

I’ve been dealing with some heavy stuff lately, confronting Death and Life and my place in the middle of it all. I was feeling anxious last night and this poem came out of me.

The Graceful Muse

Beauty can be heartbreaking
A drowning and an awakening
Pleasure and pain
are basically the same
Nothing is quite like
feeling them at the same time

Moments like these
leave me gasping for air
But I never stopped breathing
I can’t tell if I’m still in my body
or if I just starting leaving
I don’t know
what on earth is a boundary
Everything bleeds
and blends into
a fluid One
I am all of it
Together and completely undone

What is there to fear?
Why the anxiety?
It’s dancing with ecstacy…
Strange partners,
maybe.
But it’s
Death and Life
Life from Death
Again,
it’s all the same.
Core essence,
different names.

It used to scare me
I still feel those slivers tickle my soul
Sometimes it excites me
and makes my engine start to roar

Everything is nothing
and nothing is everything
Welcome to the paradox of existence
You…

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The Joy of Transformation

The Graceful Birch

If I’m not happy with a current work in progress or even a finished piece, I change it. I take it apart, a little or a lot, and transform it into something new. Possibilities are endless. Why settle for what does not inspire joy? I’m all about joy. If it doesn’t spark joy, it’s time to change (Yes, I became a KonMari convert in 2018).

One of my favorite transformations. Story about this piece coming soon.

My latest transformation piece is a butterfly, which seems appropriate. Butterflies are symbols of transformation, starting as chunky weight-bound caterpillars and eventually turning into light graceful flying butterflies.

My original plan for this piece did not happen, as I cut too little cord (frequent problem of mine). I tried turning it into something else, and still did not like the results.

Tried to make the best of it, but didn’t like how it turned…

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