Where is that fine line between humility and confidence in the truth I must speak? How does one stay grounded, but still remain open-minded? I want to bend and move with the wind, but I still want the earth to grow my roots in. Oh! I am the absolute and the ever-changing. I am the … Continue reading October 27
Don't be so quick to turn your face away, to turn your back on who you used to be and the sentiments you carried. All of your experiences are the threads in the fabric of your existance; you cannot tear away, and pick and choose which threads will go and which will stay- they are … Continue reading always becoming
Drama is born of drama. Sometimes I feel like I need to scream in order to be heard. If the reality is not enough to be convincing, then we can just put on a performance. People want to be entertained. Ultimately we love the drama. I'm not sure how it got this way. The outward … Continue reading The Dramatic Voice
It's Thursday morning and I'm exhausted. Early this week I had what most people would call a stomach bug, but for me it's just a side effect of confused hormones. I had no weight left to lose, but 24 hours of diarrhea managed to drop my 5'8" frame down to 110lbs, leaving me looking like … Continue reading What good is a dress if you don’t wear it?
You know what's annoying? The chronic obnoxious feeling that I need to explain myself and make disclaimers about anything I may say and do. It extends mostly to social media/blogging, since that is where I express myself the most. Between my easily confused satirical pieces or my desire to break outside the typical religious box, … Continue reading Explain Yourself
Discontent. Restless. Call it depression, if you will. Nothing satisfies. Everything has lost its appeal. "It seems that I've completely fallen out of love. Nothing impresses me anymore." -4/9/09 The well-meaning Christians always told me that this feeling was an indication that I needed to "press in" more with the Lord. The world and all … Continue reading Dwelling Deeper Within
The first time I sincerely contemplated the non-existance of God was this past February. I'd been reading through old journals, trying to capture significant moments to give an overview of my life and the struggles I've faced... trying to understand why I am the way I am. I had just finished reading my 8th grade … Continue reading Past Present Future Me
"There is only Right Now No past with its failures No future with its accomplishments There is only Right Now with the me that Is" -there is only Right Now 7/7/17 For years, I've been trying really hard to get my shit together. To organize my life. To figure out how to operate and get things … Continue reading we only exist right now