grace in the night

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Burning the Past

February 1, 2021February 1, 2021 / Grace Lucille / Leave a comment

"I should burn all my old journals." I only wish I could backtrack and remember what thoughts led to this one. The thought swelled so large and overtook my brain that all other thoughts were totally swallowed up and forgotten. Perhaps it was one of those rare moments of divine interruption, when the guidance you … Continue reading Burning the Past

The Whole Self

March 6, 2020 / Grace Lucille / Leave a comment

I have tried to fit into the countless boxes of others' experiences. I have divided myself into countless pieces that would fit into those countless boxes. All of me will not fit into someone else's box. So I cut off the small part that will… …over and over again, with each small box of someone … Continue reading The Whole Self

Love in the mess

January 1, 2020January 1, 2020 / Grace Lucille / 1 Comment

It doesn't appear I've made much "progress" if you look at my life right now. In many ways I'm more non-functioning than ever. Been sick on and off for months. I have crazy anxiety that leaves me terrified to be left alone. What you don't see is my inner landscape. Despite the anxiety, I'm more … Continue reading Love in the mess

anatomy of a panic attack

June 17, 2019June 17, 2019 / Grace Lucille / Leave a comment

Yesterday I experienced my first real anxiety/panic attack in about 4 months. It blew in like a crazy storm and then faded out just as quickly, and then the anxiety mildly rained on and off the rest of the day like a summer afternoon. I felt a need to write out exactly what was going … Continue reading anatomy of a panic attack

I do not need resolution for mental conflict

May 17, 2019 / Grace Lucille / Leave a comment

There is conflict, I feel it raging within. It is an empathy for others, and for myself. It is all out war and it can be exhausting. And then, a grand revelation:  I don't have to pick sides. Chaos will tell me that if I just pick an opinion, pick a side, make up my … Continue reading I do not need resolution for mental conflict

the pains of the past

February 20, 2018February 20, 2018 / Grace Lucille / Leave a comment

Do the pains of the past ever stop hurting? Does one ever "get over" anything? Is there a way to process something to where it never again rises up and seeks to destroy you? I go through this process every cycle and now it's just starting to feel like torture. Because it's the same old … Continue reading the pains of the past

Strike the Root

February 18, 2018February 18, 2018 / Grace Lucille / 1 Comment

Like many others, I find myself emotionally charged right now in the aftermath of yet another mass school shooting. Everyone is arguing over gun control and I'm literally getting a headache thinking through all of it. I like to think of myself as an open-minded person, and when it comes to the topic of gun … Continue reading Strike the Root

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I finally got a mirror in my bedroom and now I take selfies whenever I look hot.
There's a note of yours tugging at me
There's tons of things going wrong in my home at the moment (so many), but I'm going to focus really really really hard on this miracle right here. After accidentally killing my original beloved snake plant (overwatering, root rot) after it had experienced crazy growth in a short amount of time, I am so happy to see this brand new baby shooting up from another snake plant I got a couple months ago.
I recently wrote a blog post about discarding my old journals (link in bio). There's something a bit surreal about just saying "nope" to almost every page I'm reading. Why have I been keeping these words all these years? In case yall are worried I'm dumping invaluable words, trust me- I'M NOT. My journals are not my blogs. My journals are basically brain dumps. My blogs are the result of finding and expounding upon a few slivers of sanity among that mundane chaos.
I don't want to be holy
Sometimes it's nice to come up with quick little instrumental pieces. Also, I'm all about the black keys lately.
Are you highly sensitive
I am taking an indefinite break from social media. Despite continually unfollowing more and more accounts (and many lovely people), it is still far too triggering for me. I just don't know where I fit in this space anymore. I don't know where I fit in this fucking mad world that has gone completely insane. I have no idea what I have to offer at this point and I don't want to be using this platform, endlessly consuming, without offering my own unique voice.

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Recent Posts

  • Burning the Past February 1, 2021
  • Do You Worship God Or Your Beliefs About God? December 28, 2020
  • Beloved Children of God November 21, 2020
  • HOPE November 11, 2020
  • Non-dualism and Spiritual Bypassing are NOT the Same Thing August 12, 2020
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