The past two weeks have felt like death. Yesterday I finally came up for air. I am so tired, but relieved. Music and macrame have been my saving grace. I know I'm like 20 years late here, I discovered "Thank U" by Alanis Morissette and I listen to it on repeat and cry. Somehow it … Continue reading Maybe It’s All Ok
There is a book on my desk titled"What Really Makes You Ill?"That I bought last month for the hell of itThinking perhaps I could be further enlightenedAs to the inner workings of illnessAnd perhaps further cure myselfBut as I lay here with a sore throatAnd those words are the closest in sightI realize I don't … Continue reading What Really Makes You Well?
I think a lot of women carry the ancestral memory of witch burnings. We don't consciously remember it, but somewhere in our cellular memory is the remembrance that women with gifts of healing were routinely tracked down and burned as heretics by the Church, which was the "scientific" institution of the day. It is this … Continue reading The Fear of Burning
It is long past time to structure our human activities around the naturally fluctuating cycles and rhythms of women and nature.
I have tried to fit into the countless boxes of others' experiences. I have divided myself into countless pieces that would fit into those countless boxes. All of me will not fit into someone else's box. So I cut off the small part that will… …over and over again, with each small box of someone … Continue reading The Whole Self
It doesn't appear I've made much "progress" if you look at my life right now. In many ways I'm more non-functioning than ever. Been sick on and off for months. I have crazy anxiety that leaves me terrified to be left alone. What you don't see is my inner landscape. Despite the anxiety, I'm more … Continue reading Love in the mess
Do the pains of the past ever stop hurting? Does one ever "get over" anything? Is there a way to process something to where it never again rises up and seeks to destroy you? I go through this process every cycle and now it's just starting to feel like torture. Because it's the same old … Continue reading the pains of the past
Last spring I had an interesting encounter with Death. Ok, not actual death, but a personification of death. I'll skip the fun details as to how it began. What eventually happened is that I had a writing conversation with some aspect of myself that identified as Death personified. We had a good chat about some … Continue reading Death, the Comforter
Drama is born of drama. Sometimes I feel like I need to scream in order to be heard. If the reality is not enough to be convincing, then we can just put on a performance. People want to be entertained. Ultimately we love the drama. I'm not sure how it got this way. The outward … Continue reading The Dramatic Voice