Continuing yesterday's post, Day 11: Wrestling with Myself, Part 1 I emailed a few of my blogs posts to my doctor and he started reading some other posts on my blog. When we met, he brought up a post I wrote about demons. In this post, I detailed a dream I'd had years before during my health … Continue reading Day 12: Wrestling with Myself, Part 2
healing
Day 11: Wrestling with Myself, Part 1
About a week after I found out I was pregnant, I started going downhill. Yes, the nausea kicked in, which is always no fun, but something else was going on. I was suddenly depressed, seemingly out of the blue. Things in my life that I thought I'd made peace with suddenly sprang up in my … Continue reading Day 11: Wrestling with Myself, Part 1
Day 10: Communion, Part 2
Continuing yesterday's post, Day 9: Communion, Part 1. After my bizarre shaking episode at the wedding, it happened two more times in the following two weeks. Each time was less severe and I made sure to lay down as soon as I felt it coming over me. I was worried I had some sort of … Continue reading Day 10: Communion, Part 2
Day 9: Communion, Part 1
2014 was a rough year for me. Although the birth of our second child was healing in so many ways, becoming a mother again was dreadfully difficult for me at that time. Our new daughter had an insane appetite for life and required so much attention and supervision. She also nursed constantly and I was … Continue reading Day 9: Communion, Part 1
Day 8: Wrestling with God After the Death of My Child
Six years ago today my first child died at only 18 months old. She was diagnosed with cancer and a month later she was gone. Her sickness, death, and the events which transpired immediately afterwards were incredibly traumatic for my husband and I. Our families were devastated. Our hearts were broken. And we were all … Continue reading Day 8: Wrestling with God After the Death of My Child
Channeling anxious energy into productive energy
I've been dealing with anxiety on and off this past week. When the undercurrent is there, it doesn't take much to set me off and turn me into spastic basket case. I had a bad attack last night and this morning I could feel it coming on again. In more recent times, I've decided against … Continue reading Channeling anxious energy into productive energy
Pain is the place where everything is fragmented. Oh, how I wish to be the glue! I'm not sure how to fix myself, I'll just try to fix you.
Projections of the Past
This post continues the themes of Strike the Root and We're more alike than different. Last night I came across more commentary about the youth taking a stand to demand gun reform. And I felt so conflicted. I find myself really wanting to support their efforts because how can you deny them? How can you get in the … Continue reading Projections of the Past
the pains of the past
Do the pains of the past ever stop hurting? Does one ever "get over" anything? Is there a way to process something to where it never again rises up and seeks to destroy you? I go through this process every cycle and now it's just starting to feel like torture. Because it's the same old … Continue reading the pains of the past
to engage the madness or not…
It's coming over me again. Oh boy. A whole lot of feelings coming up like a tsunami wave, seemingly out of nowhere. The anxiety knocks me over and I don't know if I should try to stand or just lay here for awhile and hope it passes soon. In the past year I developed a … Continue reading to engage the madness or not…
