It doesn't appear I've made much "progress" if you look at my life right now. In many ways I'm more non-functioning than ever. Been sick on and off for months. I have crazy anxiety that leaves me terrified to be left alone. What you don't see is my inner landscape. Despite the anxiety, I'm more … Continue reading Love in the mess
God
Divine Provision or a Divine Test? Wrestling with Ethics and Choosing Gratitude
Before we went to the river walk yesterday, I was imagining just how great it would be if I could find some turkey feathers on the walk (I especially love incorporating feathers into my artwork). I've only found two turkey feathers during my countless walks in my 9 years in Maine. So I didn't think … Continue reading Divine Provision or a Divine Test? Wrestling with Ethics and Choosing Gratitude
Do I Control My Life?
I don't believe we have full control of our destiny. We aren't in complete control of our lives. There is some greater power at work that keeps pulling strings along the way. But I also don't believe we have no control. I don't believe everything we do is orchestrated by unseen forces and that we … Continue reading Do I Control My Life?
10: Communion, Part 2
Continuing yesterday's post, Day 9: Communion, Part 1. After my bizarre shaking episode at the wedding, it happened two more times in the following two weeks. Each time was less severe and I made sure to lay down as soon as I felt it coming over me. I was worried I had some sort of … Continue reading 10: Communion, Part 2
4: Discovering the Hebrew Roots of Christianity
I was 19, finally finished with high school, and feeling totally burned out on church - yet again, I had to experience another church split and this one was the absolute worst. It was a complete shit storm all the way around and I know many of us still haven't recovered all these years later. … Continue reading 4: Discovering the Hebrew Roots of Christianity
3: My Charismatic Years
(Continuing from yesterday's post, Day 2: When Grace Met Jesus ) I had been so sheltered at home and church all summer long, surrounded by light and love. And the first day back to school is when I first noticed my heightened sensitivity. It felt so dark. It was as if I couldn't breathe. By day … Continue reading 3: My Charismatic Years
When God is only portrayed as masculine…
For too long, Christianity as a whole has ignored, belittled, and even outright suppressed the feminine. I've witnessed first-hand the dysfunction that such imbalance creates within individuals and families. When we portray God using only masculine terms, it's natural for women to think that godliness is more of a masculine virtue. Instead of embracing our … Continue reading When God is only portrayed as masculine…
Mother God: Exploring the Divine Feminine
Most Christians are taught and believe that God has no gender. God is God, transcending humanity. And yet, God created us in His own image, male and female He created us. So God is both genderless but also contains both masculinity and femininity. It is a divine mystery. While we believe that we can't really … Continue reading Mother God: Exploring the Divine Feminine
fear is the great enemy
Fear is the great enemy, yet we regard it as our friend. We defend fear at every turn while turning our backs on our neighbors. If perfect love casts out fear, then fear cannot be associated with a loving God. Either God is loving and merciful, or He is not. I will not let the … Continue reading fear is the great enemy
Dwelling Deeper Within
Discontent. Restless. Call it depression, if you will. Nothing satisfies. Everything has lost its appeal. "It seems that I've completely fallen out of love. Nothing impresses me anymore." -4/9/09 The well-meaning Christians always told me that this feeling was an indication that I needed to "press in" more with the Lord. The world and all … Continue reading Dwelling Deeper Within
