There is conflict, I feel it raging within. It is an empathy for others, and for myself. It is all out war and it can be exhausting. And then, a grand revelation: I don't have to pick sides. Chaos will tell me that if I just pick an opinion, pick a side, make up my … Continue reading I do not need resolution for mental conflict
If I’m not happy with a current work in progress or even a finished piece, I change it. I take it apart, a little or a lot, and transform it into something new. Possibilities are endless. Why settle for what does not inspire joy? I’m all about joy. If it doesn’t spark joy, it’s time to change (Yes, I became a KonMari convert in 2018).
My latest transformation piece is a butterfly, which seems appropriate. Butterflies are symbols of transformation, starting as chunky weight-bound caterpillars and eventually turning into light graceful flying butterflies.
My original plan for this piece did not happen, as I cut too little cord (frequent problem of mine). I tried turning it into something else, and still did not like the results.
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Continuing my spiritual journey series: The night of October 11th, 2015, I had one of the most profound dreams of my life thusfar: I am standing naked with a snake wrapped around me. Starting with it's tail at my head, the snake is wrapped around my head, shoulders, and chest, with its head ending at my … Continue reading 15: Meeting the Serpent
When I was a teenager, I attributed my excessive and ever changing emotions on being a teenage girl, and believed that I'd eventually grow out of it. Oh, how I longed for the day when I would be an emotionally stable adult! Of course I laugh now and want to tell teenage me, "Bless your … Continue reading 14: Embracing Sensitivity
Continuing my spiritual journey series... As I began trying to be nice and listen to myself for a change, I came across a short story I wrote for my English class when I was 18. I hadn't read it in a few years, and as I read it again I was quite shocked at how much … Continue reading 13: Into the Shadow (feat. Taylor Swift)
A poem for my 30th birthday. Hopefully soon I will write a full blog post exploring the theme of this poem.
April 12th, 2019
I often wondered if Home was a real place.
I spent 30 years trying to find it.
No matter where I was,
I never felt like I belonged,
so out of place
so restless and so, so lost.
I just wanted to find a place
to sink my roots into
and grow like crazy.
I begged the land to take me
I begged the people to accept me
I begged God to be my everything
and I begged heaven to somehow save me
But Home was with me all along,
I just never knew it.
I was walking around in it
(even if I was a foot off the ground).
How did I not see
the most visible parts of me?
How could I not feel
the most tangible parts of me?
This right here,
this flesh and blood and bones
this skin and hair…
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Oooooook you guys. I've had a rough several weeks and I'm just trying to pull myself and my home life back together. I know I said I was going to start blogging again come new moon, but I've had an intense few days and the last thing I want to do right now is start … Continue reading Is it all too much?
I’ve dealt with anxiety for many years now and I’ve tried different techniques to cope. Sometimes relaxation techniques help, especially if the anxiety appears triggered by exhaustion. Sometimes my anxiety comes from a sudden influx of energy that tends to overwhelm me, and the best thing to do in that scenario is to get moving.
One evening last December I started to become really anxious, and so instead of pulling out my hair and going crazy, I decided to channel my nervous energy into creating something. I opened up my scraps/offcuts bin to make a mini macrame wall hanging exclusively from these scrap pieces of rope. My fingers worked quickly and furiously, and when I was done, I attached a small amazonite stone in the middle.
Because I more or less poured all my anxiety into this piece, I assumed it would carry…
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Over a year ago I wanted to make a small macrame wall hanging plant hanger. I quickly discovered it wasn’t going to turn out the way I wanted, so I decided to change course and simply make a wall hanging.
This was the third macrame wall hanging I created, and it was really a grand experiementation of clove hitch and square knots. I had no real idea in mind when creating it – I just went with the flow. I also went back repeatedly and untied a lot of my work and started over trying to get things right. I spent hours working on it and at times it drove me crazy, as if it had a life of its own and I was slave to give it form. It was really hard to walk away from, but life’s necessities (and my sore eyes and hurting back) demanded that I…
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