My favorite times of day are the times when the light shifts. That's when I can feel the breath of the expansive living soul of the universe brush against my own breathing soul. There's something magical about the time just before dawn. I feel closer to all the goodness of life right before the sun … Continue reading The Shifting Light
the deep stuff
Turn Around
I recently watched a video on YouTube of toddlers discovering their own shadows and being frightened of them. While not at all funny to the child, adults find such reactions to be humorous because we know there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just a shadow. But adults are afraid of shadows too. We all … Continue reading Turn Around
Death, the Comforter
Last spring I had an interesting encounter with Death. Ok, not actual death, but a personification of death. I'll skip the fun details as to how it began. What eventually happened is that I had a writing conversation with some aspect of myself that identified as Death personified. We had a good chat about some … Continue reading Death, the Comforter
The River
I am caught in the current of the Indigo River Lost in the flow all I can do is let go There is no fighting no denying only acceptance and embracing of the movement -7/4/17 Once you're in, you're in. I can't get out now. I've been baptized in the river and now I am … Continue reading The River
2018: I Will Build
2017 was a very difficult year for me. It was my "dark night of the soul". My internal world has been completely shaken and turned upside down. I ventured into the shadows deep within myself and have had one existential crisis after another. Having to deal with plenty of hormonal fluctuations has made it all … Continue reading 2018: I Will Build
Dwelling Deeper Within
Discontent. Restless. Call it depression, if you will. Nothing satisfies. Everything has lost its appeal. "It seems that I've completely fallen out of love. Nothing impresses me anymore." -4/9/09 The well-meaning Christians always told me that this feeling was an indication that I needed to "press in" more with the Lord. The world and all … Continue reading Dwelling Deeper Within
Past Present Future Me
The first time I sincerely contemplated the non-existance of God was this past February. I'd been reading through old journals, trying to capture significant moments to give an overview of my life and the struggles I've faced... trying to understand why I am the way I am. I had just finished reading my 8th grade … Continue reading Past Present Future Me
we only exist right now
"There is only Right Now No past with its failures No future with its accomplishments There is only Right Now with the me that Is" -there is only Right Now 7/7/17 For years, I've been trying really hard to get my shit together. To organize my life. To figure out how to operate and get things … Continue reading we only exist right now
