Something that helps me when I start drifting away from myself and getting too caught up in other people is to remind myself of these two things: 1. My needs/boundaries/experiences are valid even if others do not understand, agree with, or respect them. 2. It's not necessary to convince others of the validity of my … Continue reading I don’t need to convince anyone of anything
It doesn't appear I've made much "progress" if you look at my life right now. In many ways I'm more non-functioning than ever. Been sick on and off for months. I have crazy anxiety that leaves me terrified to be left alone. What you don't see is my inner landscape. Despite the anxiety, I'm more … Continue reading Love in the mess
It's that time again! For 2017 I shared about every single song I connected with that year. That was way too much to do again for 2018 so I just shared about the albums I loved that year. And now for this year, I'm just going to share the highlights... the songs I loved and … Continue reading My 2019 Soundtrack
Before we went to the river walk yesterday, I was imagining just how great it would be if I could find some turkey feathers on the walk (I especially love incorporating feathers into my artwork). I've only found two turkey feathers during my countless walks in my 9 years in Maine. So I didn't think … Continue reading Divine Provision or a Divine Test? Wrestling with Ethics and Choosing Gratitude
Yesterday I experienced my first real anxiety/panic attack in about 4 months. It blew in like a crazy storm and then faded out just as quickly, and then the anxiety mildly rained on and off the rest of the day like a summer afternoon. I felt a need to write out exactly what was going … Continue reading anatomy of a panic attack
There is conflict, I feel it raging within. It is an empathy for others, and for myself. It is all out war and it can be exhausting. And then, a grand revelation: I don't have to pick sides. Chaos will tell me that if I just pick an opinion, pick a side, make up my … Continue reading I do not need resolution for mental conflict
A poem for my 30th birthday. Hopefully soon I will write a full blog post exploring the theme of this poem.
April 12th, 2019
I often wondered if Home was a real place.
I spent 30 years trying to find it.
No matter where I was,
I never felt like I belonged,
so out of place
so restless and so, so lost.
I just wanted to find a place
to sink my roots into
and grow like crazy.
I begged the land to take me
I begged the people to accept me
I begged God to be my everything
and I begged heaven to somehow save me
But Home was with me all along,
I just never knew it.
I was walking around in it
(even if I was a foot off the ground).
How did I not see
the most visible parts of me?
How could I not feel
the most tangible parts of me?
This right here,
this flesh and blood and bones
this skin and hair…
View original post 293 more words
February 28th: I awoke in the night and knew the answer was, is, and always will be, YES. The question is irrelevant. The questions are almost always irrelevant. The questions are just meant to push me to the ultimate answer of YES. Here is life's grand secret: Yes. It's always the answer. Yes. One Yes … Continue reading YES
I'm a little late at doing this but here it is: the songs that defined my year. Gracie's 2018 Playlist (click here) I don't have the time to post each song and my connection to it the way I did with my 2017 playlist, so I'm just posting a link to my Spotify playlist and … Continue reading My 2018 Playlist