I do not need resolution for mental conflict

There is conflict, I feel it raging within. It is an empathy for others, and for myself. It is all out war and it can be exhausting. And then, a grand revelation:  I don't have to pick sides. Chaos will tell me that if I just pick an opinion, pick a side, make up my … Continue reading I do not need resolution for mental conflict

Home (30)

A poem for my 30th birthday. Hopefully soon I will write a full blog post exploring the theme of this poem.

The Graceful Muse

April 12th, 2019

I often wondered if Home was a real place.
I spent 30 years trying to find it.
No matter where I was,
I never felt like I belonged,

so out of place

so uncomfortable

so restless and so, so lost.

I just wanted to find a place
to sink my roots into
and grow like crazy.

I begged the land to take me
I begged the people to accept me
I begged God to be my everything
and I begged heaven to somehow save me

But Home was with me all along,
I just never knew it.
I was walking around in it
(even if I was a foot off the ground).

How did I not see
the most visible parts of me?
How could I not feel
the most tangible parts of me?

This right here,
this flesh and blood and bones
this skin and hair…

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YES

February 28th: I awoke in the night and knew the answer was, is, and always will be, YES. The question is irrelevant. The questions are almost always irrelevant. The questions are just meant to push me to the ultimate answer of YES. Here is life's grand secret: Yes. It's always the answer. Yes. One Yes … Continue reading YES

When God is only portrayed as masculine…

For too long, Christianity as a whole has ignored, belittled, and even outright suppressed the feminine. I've witnessed first-hand the dysfunction that such imbalance creates within individuals and families. When we portray God using only masculine terms, it's natural for women to think that godliness is more of a masculine virtue. Instead of embracing our … Continue reading When God is only portrayed as masculine…

How banana pudding taught me that I am never alone

I recently stumbled into the Enneagram personality typing system and it's been incredibly eye-opening for me. These past several days I've been having some lightbulb moments and new insights into my life. The other day I briefly thought about my attraction of endless synchronicites. I was recalling the recent "banana pudding" synchronicity. About a week … Continue reading How banana pudding taught me that I am never alone