There’s nothing wrong with living in the past or in the future. There’s nothing wrong with failing to (or choosing not to) “be here now” in the present. Is the present moment more enlightened than your past experiences or your fantasies of the future? How could we possibly know? And this assumes that there really is a thing called time and that the past is over and the future hasn’t happened. I actually reject that rational belief. I’ve had moments where the past exploded into the present moment and it was beyond beautiful. I’ve also had both the privilege and curse of somehow witnessing the future. I’m one of those people who insist on believing that it’s truly happening all right now… IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.
So what does it really mean to be here in the present moment?
If the past is sneaking up on you, then you’re experiencing it right here and now. If the future is calling out to you, you hear the call here and now.
I’m so done with the judgments. I know this may seem like I’m diving off the deep end into non-reality, but frankly, this is the only way I know how to heal and access myself and the love I need. What we call “reality” (world of binaries: good vs evil, etc) has been a nightmare for me. None of this is right or wrong. It just IS.
We have to make countless judgments all day long just to cope and manage physical life (there’s nothing wrong with eating cookies all day but my body won’t appreciate it), but I keep having to return to the deeper understanding that it’s neither good nor bad, right nor wrong- which is the blessed place of *acceptance*. ACCEPTANCE is my only God (I AM) because only in acceptance do I have any access to true peace and joy. Oh, believe me, I feel the pain and the anger and the agony. I feel it without judgment, I accept it. When I accept the pain and terror that slices through me, when I let it break me open, I discover my whole unbroken spirit underneath it all. And there I find Love.
Sometimes I find it in the past, sometimes in the future. Sometimes I see it in everything around me in the present moment. There is no right or wrong, there’s no proper way to BE.
Be here now?
Where ever you are, you are here, in Love.
-written August 25th, 2020-