I’ve been rather quiet on the blog lately, but don’t worry… I’m working on several posts right now. It was a pretty rough autumn and I’m still trying to recover, more or less. But I’ve finally been able to integrate some things in my system this month and feel the familiar urge to write and share my process.
This past autumn I experienced the most pervasive anxiety I’ve ever dealt with (as well as low-grade sickness that kept dragging on and on). Thankfully I’ve settled deep into myself enough lately that I could recognize nothing was really wrong, and I could extend grace to my fried nervous system rather than shame myself. I’ve also suspected that a lot of the anxiety and body tension I was experiencing was actually a response to a lot of internal shifting and shuffling around. All good things. But I tend to resist stuff, for a variety of reasons, and it messes me up. It’s just the constant wrestling with deeply ingrained beliefs I’m still trying to dump… so many conflicting messages I’m trying to sort through. My conscious self is so over it all, but my unconscious self hasn’t quite made the change yet. And so it’s the unconscious that is causing all the commotion and working out its issues. Hence, extended anxiety, tension, and greater than usual overwhelm.
Anyway, after laying low for awhile, I am feeling a renewed desire to write again. That’s normal for me this time of year. I have a few posts I’m working on with differing topics.
I have not forgotten about my spiritual journey series, I just had to take a break from it for awhile. There are still experiences from 2017 that I’m still trying to process and understand better, and until that happens, there is simply no way I can write about it. I do have a few couple drafts that I should be able to work on and release in the meantime. There is also the chance I may just skip over a few parts and come back later when I’ve processed them better. Who knows. I’m just pausing, coming back and reevaluating… then pausing again and coming back. I’m more or less waiting for more direction or for a way to make itself known.
Anyway, it has certainly been quite a year! 2019 feels like one long blur, honestly. It was a year of tremendous growth for me and I can barely take it all in. I’m thankful for the lessons I’ve learned and parts of myself I have reclaimed.
New posts coming soon.
Here’s a pic of me with crazy poofy hair, and I like it: