Whenever I’m in some emotional funk, my method of processing (or coping with…) the Crazy is to write a long string of absurdities on my blog or to my doctor. I decided to leave my poor doctor out of this round, so I’ll emotionally vomit all over you lovely people who are so unfortunate to read this insane dribble.
Look, I have a billion things I could be writing about – many things I WANT to write about: continuing my spiritual journey series, my recent dance with Death (not scary like it sounds), and a ton of macrame artwork stories. While taking a bath earlier and listening to old interviews with Joseph Campbell, I found myself wishing he were still alive because I want to hear his perspective on today’s society and especially about the concept of cultural appropriation, since he is the master of mythology research.
All interesting and compelling stuff.
But I’m tossing it all in favor of blabbing on like a drunk idiot. I am both drunk and hungover. Drunk on Life and hungover on Death. It’s bloody brilliant and banal. I’m amazing and stupid at once.
And suddenly profound insight breaks through. Right now I’m acting “mercurial” as I call it… you know, Hermes/Mercury, messenger of the gods. He’s also a trickster and loves stirring up trouble just for the fun of it. And I thought oh, maybe something is going on with Mercury (the planet) which might explain my craziness right now. Yup, looked at my star map, Mercury is swinging by the sun right now. This ALWAYS happens and I’m never prepared. From now on I need to get these Mercury conjuctions written on my calender so I can expect these insane moods that overtake me.
The fun thing about this mood, however, is that Mercury is a great wordsmith. I start writing poetry as if someone else is writing it.
I apologize for going hardcore pagan on you so soon (I haven’t explained my spiritual roundabouts yet), but I finally realized that the entire Greek pantheon of gods and goddesses are about the most applicable and relatable group of personalities and stories in my life. Ok, we’ll make it psychological and pretend there’s nothing remotely spiritual about this so you don’t freak out. Think of these gods as archetypes. We are all playing out different archetypes and personalities. None of them truly define our identities (who we are is indefinable), we are just play acting different roles.
Well, Mercury is the first one I identified with. I channel that dude a lot. (Actually his Greek name is Hermes, but I’ve already gotten so used to his Roman name Mercury, especially his association with the planet). I’m like some oracle/messenger of the gods, transmitting messages back and forth between heaven and earth (and sometimes hell) (read this poem I wrote last night, clearly under his influence). The great goddess Athena is an extremely powerful personality I connected with last summer, and that’s a long story I’ll share later… short story, she’s empowered femininity and wisdom and the driving force behind The Graceful Birch, my creative business.
And then just recently I read the myth of Orpheus, mortal son of one of the nine Muses, and I can’t tell you just how deeply that story was already embedded into my existance. He’s basically my masculine musical half, my King David psalmist, bleeding heart hopeless romantic. His music even opened the gates of the underworld and moved the very heart of Hades himself. Ah, he did it all to retrieve his lost love from death, but he did not succeed. He spent the rest of his life heartbroken, pining away for his lost love. Well hell, I know exactly what that feels like. I’ve been driven mad for so long by a story that wants to play itself in my life only to discover its Orpheus’ story!!! Geez!! I once stood with a bittersweet vine, trying to feel into it and discover it’s song, and I was so overcome with the exact heartbreak of Orpheus. I read the story and thought, holy shit, this is what I felt with the vine!!!
Yeah guys, my life is crazy. I used to complain that I was merely an actor, forced into playing roles in a play I never auditioned for. I don’t complain about it much anymore. I’ve accepted that this is simply how life is. We’re all playing out different archetypes, experiencing life through these personalities. Frankly, none of our experiences are unique. They’ve all been done before. Ol’ Solomon was correct… there is nothing new. It used to drive me mad. I felt I had no control. And yet, I do have control. I have control over how I choose to experience it all. Will I let it be a burden of torment? Or will I throw myself whole-heartedly into the part and give the most spectacular performance anyone has ever seen?
I’m all of them. I’m Mercury. I’m Athena. I’m Orpheus. I know I’m plenty more that I’ve yet to discover. These are all my parts to play and I’m going to stop resisting it. I’m going to embrace them all and just live, goshdarnit.
Ok I had no intention of writing anything but pure nonesence but a lot of what I just shared makes a lot of sense. Shit. Ah well, you’re gonna miss out on all the witty blabbering that otherwise would have taken place. Maybe Mercury decided to hang his mischievous hat for a bit and just deliver a straight message from the gods. I’m down with that. But if you ARE interested in some mercurial drivel, click here to read a dumb post from 2017 when I was highly unstable (that was fun *coughcough*).
Peace out yalls.