How banana pudding taught me that I am never alone

I recently stumbled into the Enneagram personality typing system and it’s been incredibly eye-opening for me. These past several days I’ve been having some lightbulb moments and new insights into my life.

The other day I briefly thought about my attraction of endless synchronicites. I was recalling the recent “banana pudding” synchronicity. About a week or so ago I randomly started craving banana pudding. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve thought about banana pudding (much less craved it) or had any association with it. But I kept thinking about banana pudding and wondering if I could find some gluten-free vanilla wafers.

The next day, my husband got off the phone with his friend who, several states away, was getting ready to make some banana pudding. A couple days after this, someone I follow on social media shared a post about banana pudding. I can’t possibly believe this is mere coincidence. I have had no interaction with banana pudding in probably years. And then suddenly my craving for it is met by discovering others’ cravings for it.

This is just one example of what happens in my life on a daily basis. I always have these weird synchronicities occur left and right, some of them quite shocking and incredible. They appeared to be “signs”, so I used to spend a lot of time dissecting each one, wondering what it meant, and then getting frustrated over the endless bunny trails and lack of purposeful clarity. I complained of being “plugged into universal consciousness” for no real reason. While a few of these experiences have a deeply personal and obvious meaning/purpose, most of them just seem absurd. The banana pudding episode may be the most ridiculous and truly meaningless synchronicity of them all.

But the other day, I discovered a profound truth in this seemingly insignificant experience, and in all my synchronicities at large. I realized that the greatest meaning to be derived from these signs is that I am never alone. I have more in common with my surroundings than I think I do.

Being type 4 on the Enneagram, I have spent my entire life feeling fundamentally different from others. This feeling of distinction or separation becomes, oftentimes, the one thing I feel I can confidently place my identity in. I’m a roller coaster of continually shifting moods and feelings, and the one thing that seems to stay the same is that I simply feel different from others and completely misunderstood. After awhile, I tend to focus on all the ways I am different from others as opposed to all the things I have in common with others. This leads to isolation and extreme depression. I feel cut off from others, separated, yet always longing to be apart of something. Simply put, I feel so miserably alone.

I thought about my craving for banana pudding, and knowing that someone else I know had a craving for banana pudding at the same time made me realize I am not so different from others as I perceive myself to be. I have so much common ground with everyone and everything around me. I fully believe in the simple and basic truth of life that All Is One, yet my ego keeps trying to separate me from this Oneness. 

They say that synchronicities are messages from God or the universe, and perhaps the message the universe keeps sending me is to come back and dwell in the deep truth of unity. Stop focusing on the differences, which divide, but spend a lot of quality time contemplating the commonalities which unite us all. By making a point of recognizing my similarities with others, I am able to cultivate the connections I crave in the natural which already exist in the spiritual. Only then will I live the most truest truth of my life: 

I am never alone

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