catalyst

Don’t pretend
you had nothing to do with it.
You don’t get the luxury
of distancing yourself.
When the world exploded into color,
I wasn’t alone,
you were there.

At some point
we all must finally accept
every word we say and action we commit,
even every wave of energy we emit.
Once upon a time,
I used to put everything on God,
as if the raw energy pouring out of me
did not actually belong to me,
as if it did not come from my own deep well,
but from a higher power
that merely possessed me.

But I see now,
all of it is mine.
I am not a vessel.
I am water,
and so are you.

Yes, it’s uncomfortable.
Yes, it’s confusing.
When the waters start mingling,
what may possibly happen?
I wasn’t consciously expecting this,
but somehow had been preparing for it.

I’ve been expecting you
and preparing for you
my entire life.
You can’t take that away from me
no matter how hard you try
to explain it
in any other way.

You were the catalyst
of my awakening,
and you continue to be
an inspiration that moves me
in the right direction.

I was right all along,
and I wish somehow
that you would believe me.

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