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at what point

April 15, 2018 / Grace Lucille

How do you know
when you’ve reached your limit?
How long can you keep stretching
before you simply break?

At what point is penance neccessary?
And at what point, grace?

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Categories

from one full moon to another
health
love
mothering
music
my Spark Joy journey
my spiritual journey
personality
poetry
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The Graceful Birch – artwork
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I’m funnier on Twitter

for the visually curious

I don't remember the last time I wore makeup. I don't remember the last time I've gone this long without wearing makeup. I'm not a purist and I don't have a problem with makeup. The truth is that I've been dealing with the obnoxious post-partum hair loss, and for some reason it's been really bad on my eyelashes. And so most people would be like, Oh, great time to wear some mascara! But I did that once and honestly it looked worse. And so until my eyelashes grow back in more, I prefer not to HIGHLIGHT the fact that they are so sparse. That being said, I might brave some today because there is possibility of a group family photo today. Also, this past year I've pared down my makeup routine to the basics, which is what I prefer: Mascara. Concealer on blemishes if I have any and maybe lipstick if I'm feeling sassy. I've never been big on foundation but sometimes I do like to use a little powder. Not anymore, I think it makes my skin emotionally grumpy to be covered up (I personify everything in my life, everything has feelings you guys). Eyeliner is just sort of annoying. It can look really good if you do it right but these days I'm just over it. Eyeshadow starts turning me into someone I can't recognize and freaks me out. Blush and luminizers feel too much (except when I'm pale as hell and don't want to look like a ghost... only happens during my bad times) and also tend to break out my skin. I used to define my brows back before it was trendy and now the trend has gotten so way out of hand that I've completely stopped the little bit I do as protest, haha. I don't understand the EXTREME eyebrow trends in the cosmetic world, it's insane. In high school everyone plucked their eyebrows into nonexistence and now everyone is filling them in to take over their faces. God save us! I wore a ton of makeup when I cut my hair. I didn't feel feminine enough without it. After breastfeeding, when I looked at my naked boney body in a mirror with such little hair and no makeup, I felt like an awkward teenage boy. I started growing my hair back out partially so I wouldn't have to wear makeup to feel feminine. I'm getting used to myself.

Snow peas fresh from the garden! Lightly fried in butter with salt, pepper, and a little bit of granulated garlic. Yummmm #snowpeas #gardenergracie

Got a pen back in my hand and my bookshelf of journals back next to me. I'm all over the place this week, hormonally and physically (room rearrange is no joke, omg) and despite the intensity of everything I'm feeling this week, I do feel like things are falling back into place... like I've taken so many detours but maybe just maybe my focus is getting back on track. You know what I mean...? When you come back home into your sense of purpose? I may not have a plan yet and I currently don't see/have all the resources, but I know what the goal is. I have a much clearer idea now on just who I am and why I'm here, and I'm not going to do it alone. I will find my people. We will find each other. I need you to help me live my purpose and you need me to help you live yours. It's time to sing and dance again. I mean that literally.

There's no comfort in the waiting room Just nervous pacers waiting for bad news And the nurse comes round and everyone lifts their heads But I am thinking of what Sarah said, That love is watching someone die... So who's gonna watch you die? -Death Cab for Cutie

Yelloooowwww #gloriosadaisy #gardenergracie

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