Back in high school I was a serious fan of the Christian punk rock band Relient K. Me and my friends at youth group were always singing their songs and singing their praises. I even convinced my very gullible friend that I had actually dated Matt Thiessen, the lead singer and song-writer. I was joking around but he took me seriously. After a year of perpetuating that nonsense, I finally had to admit to him that it was just a joke, and he was pretty mad at me over that.
My favorite thing about Relient K was the lyrics. While I don’t really care for that style of music anymore (and I’m sure they’ve completely changed since I listened to them), now and then I go back and listen to their album Two Lefts Don’t Make A Right… But Three Do and giggle uncontrollably. I’d totally date Matt Thiessen just to have him text me this witty crap all day long. (Memes are my love language, by the way)
There’s a lyric from that album that comes to mind a lot these days:
“Her mood’s out swinging on the swingset almost every day…” – from “Mood Rings”, Relient K
Yikes. Did I, as a grumpy yet silly teenager, ever think that this song would one day apply to me? BECAUSE IT DOES.
My mood is swinging all the time these days, thanks to some super intense hormones that were never this intense before. Yesterday I started ovulating for real and holy crap, I completely fell apart. I was super heartbroken and then super angry. It carried into this morning, but taking a cue from the other day, I channeled my unstable emotional energy into painting some more in my living room. I feel great now (though I’m on the verge of binging on my butter pecan icecream and laughing like a crazed witch).
What’s horrifying is how quickly my mood can change. It can make me feel powerless and a slave to my ever-changing hormones. One hour I’m doing fine, and the next hour I’m suddenly snapping 50 different ways. And then the next day I’m back to normal again.
It’s so weird.
Despite how bad it got last night, I still think I’m doing better. I’ve been trying different things to help even out my hormones and I do think it’s helping. My moods aren’t as long-lasting as they used to be, and I’m less obsessive about the issues that arise.
“Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go.”
It hasn’t been an easy lesson to learn, but I’m slowly getting there.
Eh, enough with my boring story. Listen to Relient K instead: