Last spring I had an interesting encounter with Death. Ok, not actual death, but a personification of death. I’ll skip the fun details as to how it began.
What eventually happened is that I had a writing conversation with some aspect of myself that identified as Death personified. We had a good chat about some things in my life that needed to die so that the real me could step forward.
Turns out Death is super nice and friendly. I wasn’t expecting that.
I briefly engaged with Death tonight for the first time in many months.
I haven’t been feeling well for a while, and I’m steadily getting worse. I’ve been hoping things would resolve on their own, but they haven’t.
I’ve had some health scares in the past, so it’s been pretty easy for fear to creep in lately. It has quietly grown and grown, and of course, makes me feel worse.
My fear of dying has hit me several times in the last couple weeks, and tonight, I finally surrendered to it.
I realized how dumb it would be for me to have made all the progress I’ve made in the past year just to die. Death had been with me, helping me release the old ways that kept me in bondage. My soul has been reborn. I made it through my long dark night and I finally feel ready to LIVE.
There’s no way Death has brought me this far to then literally kill me.
And with this conviction, I released my fear of dying. I found myself sobbing on the black cloak of the Grim Reaper with his blank skull of a face and his scythe glimmering in the moonlight. Not exactly the sort of character you’d go to for comfort, but that’s exactly what happened.
I released my fear of death to Death itself- I released the fear to its source. As I cried, he took my burden. My own tears washed me with relief and I felt the heavy weight fall from me.
Death has taught me many lessons through the years. Many have been bitter, but through time, have become sweet. Tonight, Death is my comforter because I know that I need not fear Death. He is merely a guide who helps me pass from one life to the next.